I secretly hope every woman goes through this.
As I look back at these photos, taken by my talented friend, I am thinking back of the mess inside my own head as soon as the first trimester was over. My first trimester was just like a cloud over my life and I barely remember it now because I was so sick and so out of it. As soon as I started to feel like a human again, I felt like the rug was pulled under my feet and I had to figure out who I was all over again.
I was worried about everything. My ability to be a mother, time management, being able to cook and take care of the household things like I normally would, and then there is work, my business, involvement in the community and friendships I still want to continue to nurture. I felt overwhelmed because all these thoughts of “how will I be able to do all this and take care of a tiny human” were inside my own head.
It felt like an identity crisis, and I believe it was. Naturally so, as your world is turned upside down, you are going to question your every move and thought.
I hope I can encourage every woman out there who feels an identity crisis coming on because of whatever life circumstances, it’s normal, and it doesn’t last long. I also hope that sharing my process helps someone else to stay encouraged and keep going through the process.
I talked to a couple of my friends, who are also moms and have gone through what I was going through at the moment (that is key!). Allowed their encouragement and advice to sink in and process. I prayed, took long walks and allowed the thoughts in my mind come through one by one dealing with the pain and the changes as they came emotionally and physically. I got through that little chapter of my pregnancy and came out confident in what I my future will hold.
No more freaking out. At least not until I’m in labor. Then I can’t speak for what I will feel.
Here is what I learned in the second trimester of my pregnancy:
Identity crisis is ok. Just as long as you don’t get stuck there too long and seek help.
Talking to people who love you is good. Even when talking about it is unbearably hard.
Becoming a mom is not going to change the woman I am. It just adds to the woman I am.
Being a mom isn’t going to stop me from living the life I always wanted. It just asks for some adjustments in life and maybe a couple of detours.
I still can make a difference in the world. I will. Especially by raising a child who is an incredible human being and becomes the man God already designed him to be! Somehow the thought of helping a helpless little human become amazing makes up for everything!
On another note, can I just stop for a moment and say that I think what a woman’s body goes through is incredible! This has been the hardest my body has worked in my entire life, and it created a miracle I am about to meet very soon. The way God created this process, a process when the love of two people creates a life, is astonishing to me. I think its beautiful. I am so thankful to have been picked to carry a life inside me!
I am no less of a woman then I was before I was pregnant. My identity didn’t change because my life circumstances are changing. I am more then I was before.
I believe that there is so much more to me now then just a wife, just a business owner, just a sister, just a girl. I didn’t know you can grow so much within such a short time and I fully believe change is a necessity to live life to the fullest!
Thanks to my friend Elysia for letting me play dress up and take these beautiful pictures. I felt amazing and she captured the feeling exactly! These hills and fields of Pensilvania are gorgeous!
Dress is from asos.com
Makeup and hair done by me, all Mary Kay of course and my favorite ‘perfect nude’ lipstick for my skin tone in Mary Kay gel matte lipstick in Mauve moment.