“The sooner you start paying attention to what you say about life, your circumstances, and yes, your failures, the sooner you will break though to the next level.” – Valorie Burton
I want to be successful.
And this quote got me thinking in the past week.
More times then I want to admit to, I feel like I’m failing at everything. Failing at being a wife, a beauty consultant, a sister, a daughter, failing at being a Christ follower, at being a good friend, and these thoughts can carry me away on a daily basis. Let’s face it, it’s practically impossible to feel, and I want to emphasize FEEL, successful when your own emotions betray you and bombard you with negativity. When I’m honest with myself, I know my own shortcomings too well, I start criticizing myself and the rest isn’t a good ending to a day. I know many women who live in this cycle and struggle with the self doubt, the crippling feeling of not being enough no matter what they do, and with the reality of how hard it is to live with yourself when no one around you believes you can do it.
Knowing that so many of us struggle with such a powerful fight daily really bothers me, it shakes me to the core. Especially today. Today I had to fight, and today I feel, yes, I FEEL like I’m on the winning side. The difference? Just a choice to start changing what I speak to my mind, about myself, daily. Daily. Hourly. Whatever it takes.
I am pregnant, and just like any woman will look at another woman and compare her body to a complete stranger, I find myself comparing my pregnant body to all the other pregnant bodies I see. (I have to insert here that a lot of them are the IG perfect shaped, perfectly lit lives that sometimes feel out of touch, like really, no one has it that good.) Here is the deal though, I love my ever growing belly, I love feeling the little boy move and wake me up in the middle of the night with kicks, but it doesn’t stop me from having the thoughts of comparison. Are we programmed or simply brainwashed into comparing each other? And can’t we do something about it?
I believe so.
I believe that we should not put ourselves down. What if that super skinny girl is struggling with her health, has incredible amount of medical bills she doesn’t know how to pay for, can’t enjoy the taste of real food and after years still can’t figure out what’s wrong with her body. Doctors tell her she’s unhealthy and that she need to gain 20 lb, the exact 20 pounds of your own that you are dying to attach to her every time you see her. If you knew her battle would you really want to switch? Maybe you’d be much happier with your own struggle.
I’m just saying.
Today, in my mind the battle is won. I am glad to share my success from one day hoping to inspire you to look into your circumstances, evaluate, recalculate, analyze, have a 50 second pity party if you need to, then move on. Choose. Stand. Love yourself and accept your failure as just another day’s work but not something that defines who YOU are. When you are in the middle of that fight, choose to speak words of confidence, comfort and words of success into your own heart, and allow them to change the course of your day!
Here are 3 more things that make an incredible difference in this success and failure relationship in my opinion, as they have worked for me:
- Friendships. Whom do you allow to speak into your life?
- Sleeping in. This is a big one for me because I love sleeping in but often feel guilty and even more restless then I did at 6 am. So wake up early and start the day with a routine.
- Positive reinforcement. Have a celebration, share your success with the people who matter when you win a battle! If it’s a super super personal one and you really can’t share it with others, then reward yourself with a date at Starbucks, a mani/pedi or a massage.
Life is too real, too short to take yourself so seriously you can’t enjoy day to day reality. So give yourself a break once in a while, laugh it off and don’t focus on trying to be perfect. Perfect is boring.
You are not perfect or boring. Embrace it.
You are worth fighting over! So fight girlfriend! And look around you, and see if there is a girlfriend next to you in need of a pick up and support.